There is a story in Lunn history about my sister Caitlin that I am about to tell without permission but hopefully with some accuracy.
Some years ago while a small and ridiculously adorable child, Caitlin was invited to a Sunday birthday party. Needless to say, she was desirous to attend. Our father, being of the "teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves" persuasion of parenting, advised our littlest blonde to pray about it.
Solemnly (or so I imagine) she climbed the stairs.
It wasn't long after that she descended with triumph.
"He said yes."
In seven weeks I will run my first full marathon. Like most marathons (that aren't in Utah) it is on a Sunday.
I didn't ask.
But I ask Him lots of other things. (Like A LOT.)
I don't really know why I'm even starting this with the Sunday thing. Probably because I feel a smidge conflicted. And maybe because it's something I've already written about here.
But mostly I feel good about it and that's what is most confusing. Because I feel like this goal is saving my life.
Right now I should be in a serious spiral of depression. The stress of our lives right now is overwhelming. (My husband is currently being tested to see if he has an ulcer. An ulcer. Brought on by stress. Work stress.)
I am over-committed (trigger for depression). I am worried about finances and both my job and my husband's job (trigger for depression). I am running on six or fewer hours of sleep a night (huge trigger for depression). There is a snake living in the walls of my kitchen (trigger for panic).
And, yet. (Knock on wood.)
I have written before how running has aided in my struggles with anxiety. I am fully convinced that its discovery in my life was a gift from a loving Heavenly Father who knew I needed a coping tool.
But maybe I don't have to run 26 miles to reap that benefit, you wonder.
I'm not sure either.
All I know is that I hope you'll be thinking about me on December 8th.
I may not be in church that day but I promise you I'll be praying to God.
If today is any indication it will be right around Mile 16.